Ahhh sex – the opportunity for a cosmic and delicious energy exchange, if used appropriately. Couldn’t we say the same of life? If we’re willing to dig deep, both in life and love, intimacy can occur between ourselves and our partners, as well as between ourselves and our lives. My deepest ambition is to be IN my life, rather than acquainted with it.


Tantra, often thought of only in relation to sexual intimacy, is a doctrine to connect us to all aspects of our lives. The root ‘tan’ literally means ‘to expand’. And isn’t that what we’re all looking for?


  1. Be. Here. Now. Sex, and life, cannot be fully embraced if we are going over our to-do list in our mind or wondering what might happen next. Much of our mind travels to the future, worrying about what may happen, or dwelling on a past that is already gone. Connect to breath; the only moment that exists is this one. Right. Now.


  1. Surrender (there is no try). What we resist, persists. We can live in positive intention but ultimately, we have to let go to the experience and lap up its crazy, wild ride.


  1. Be a blank slate.How often do we go into something with such high expectations that it ultimately disappoints us? Or, we negate a very positive experience by judging others and ourselves throughout it. You are beautiful and always enough. Specifically, you are not as fat as you imagine. Let go of an expected outcome and the judgments your small self recycles.


  1. Begin in your mind; listen to your body. Everything begins in our mind, even an orgasm. When we set out with a positive intention and live in the moment, anything is possible, as long as we listen to the rhythm of our body.


  1. Sometimes you’re the giver, sometimes you’re the receiver. Sometimes you’re on top, sometimes you’re on the bottom — literally, and figuratively. When things are going your way – receive full-heartedly without questioning when it might end. When you’re giving, let go of the idea that you are earning something in return. Give without expectation and, in turn, generosity will enrich your life.


  1. Ask for what you want. Gently, clearly, and without judgment of your self.


  1. Be conscious. Connect with the experience, understanding that it may reveal untruths we’ve been taught to believe about our bodies, the world, and ourselves. Be willing to be open and detach from the ways things ‘have been, before’. Each endeavor is a new experience, each connection is a blank slate, and each moment is an opportunity for things to be different.


  1. Connect with BIG self  Your BIG self knows you’re beautiful, whole, and radiant. It knows that you deserve pleasure, that deep down you simply are pleasure and passion. Tell your small self to stop being a backseat driver and just enjoy the ride.


  1. Choose courage. Intimacy is Scary with a capital S. Shying away from life and its rich array of encounters can be comfortable but ultimately isolates us, allowing our pain to be our guide. Asking for what you want is courageous. Knowing your worth is brave. Surrendering is balls-out fearless.


  1. Love yourself First. Always. Always. Always.


Knowing your worth is brave. Surrendering is balls-out fearless Click To Tweet Love Yourself First. Always, always, always. Click To Tweet


10 Tantric Principles for Sex and Life

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